well since the last time i ve updated there has been graduation, grad night, santa cruz and monday comes orientation. i have always found it difficult to go back and do one of those overview things after not writing about it right afterwards. i think i have actually somewhat gotten used to the idea of having graduated from high school, despite the crazed hyperventilation and what not the few days before. in fact, dare i venture, it feels like i have been a graduate forever. already people from school feels part of a lifetime ago, so much so that on some days i am even quite lazy to "make the most of summer" and hang out. its the waiting around place of dr seuss. i cant say i was eager to go forth, but now having been forced, yes forced, to move on ousted from that happy place known as high school, i d like to really get a move on and actually start the next part of my life whatever that means. until i get to college, i think no amount of reassurance of how great it will be etc. can surpass what i personally know or don't know rather. basically, what i am trying explain inarticulately is that right now all i know is that i don't know. for the first time in a long time again, i have no idea what (excuse the cliche) the future will bring. no not the distant future, but a couple of months future, two days in the future. i was never a fan of a large number of variables , math or life. puh. makes me nervous. like i am supposed to do something that i am not aware of. like godamnit someone just tell me what the right thing is to do. one day at a time. 

anyway. santa cruz was mighty fun. go napoleon, hugeass three stories, sunshine beachiness, crappy charades, awesome light show, ugly (cough ev and monzi lol) and cute baby pictures, and dolphins on sticks! boo to being attacked every morning though. now if some people will just please send me pictures that would be mighty helpful. =)   

oh how time flies.

oh prom oh prom thou leavest so soon!

{a sort of photo diary}

the night before extravaganza

our favorite evaline...

...transformed!

the stupid crowd goes wild

heeheehee

anyway. prom day lina and cathy go get nails done. lina runs late. meet the dates at jane's house. where her princely david came ON TIME unlike someone else and whisked her away ho ho

hum the hardship of pinning the oversized boutineer, but oh where are you staring oh rexy?

oh yeah and here is my oversized corsage...durrr...very pretty though =) 

and then to lina's house because she was forgetful but there were some pretty pictures to be taken!

then it was off to school whee where lots of encounters were made, a selection...starting with the ever so suave or so he claims rishi...

nikitha, lina, rishi, surya yay for curry

with jenn who had really cool flowers in her hair carolyn (ho ho swim tan!)

lauren and her cool GREEN polka dot dress towering over me

rick looking awfully serious, tiffany with her dress which i really like!

ronald and $1 jamba juice courtesy of lynbrook novice

uhm....and the infamous retarded lithy poses strikes again!

samantha...watch out she's a mean one!

sally...you ll never see her in class but you ll see her at prom!

pretty juniors (including jess!) going senior prom how absurd indeed.

patrick. he is stupid most of the time but still lovable!

the speech and debateness continues...abhi who asked rachel on the plane! awww. and our lovely parli coach jenn. ahh almost every year i looked wistfully on during lynbrook novice at the prom goers...=')

and of course we save the best for last....the kodak ELD moments...they speak for themselves

board the bus board the bus...more like board the bus from heated helldom...and then...board the boat board the boat! eat! eat! totally cool looking picture of our table. left side: kai, monica, cathy, william. righ side: well if you d been paying attention you d know!

a room filled with balloons begging to be taken. muwahaha.

rex's boy scouting exictment got the better of him and he ran around attempting to capture the view.

it was mighty hot inside and mightly cold inside

the end? the end? couldnt be! more pictures see?

it annoys me when people thank their dates on their profiles/xangas i mean come on don't you even have the sincerity to do it in person? or is it more sincere because it is public. eh. okay well here is my favorite picture of the night thanks to diane's non candid photo skills xD...hmm i cant believe its over...can prom ever live up to its over hyped expectations? maybe its time to throw away those expectations and appreciate it for what it was everyone together having fun because...thats what friends are for. ho ho.

doo doo doo happy prom 2005!

TWO DAYS!

oh the excitement.

Currently Reading Candide (Penguin Classics) By Voltaire, John Butt (Translator) see related

One of the terrible atrocities of being cynical is that even when life is good there is a constant fear that the better it is now, the crappier it will be later come the day the good inevitably ends. It's like spending a perfect sunny day outside just lying on the beach and time feels so still and yet so fleeting because in the back of your mind you know the sun will always go down although it seems impossible until the very moment it does. Suddenly, everything is cold and unbearble.

Unfortunately, life has been really good lately. In fact, its been good to the extent that my disbelieving self believes that I will wake up the next day to realize I had woken up and the sun has somehow set forever. And then, high school, like everything else before it, will linger much like one of those vivid dreams, floating tantalizingly about until I'm not quite sure if it really happened. Why is it that right when something comes to an end it becomes unbelievably amazing, fun, unforgettable, hilarious, exciting, crazy- until you become convinced that you will absolutely die without it.

I am not doubting college won't be incredible and life altering. It will. But it won't change the fact that the moment it begins, everything that had gone on in the last four years, ends. I don't mean that we'll vanish from each other's lives, far from it I hope. Lina will still be there, Diane will still be there, they'll continue to be friends, but the Lina and Diane together in high school will have said goodbye forever. It's not a morbid thing or even sad in the sense that I want to stop it from happening but I guess sad in that smiling-through-tears-stubbornly-full-heartedly-refusing-to accept-but-knowing-deep-down kinda way.

It couldn't have been only four years ago that we were at orientation. Sometimes I look at the freshmen and for second wish I was a freshman again, but then I see one of them throw cafeteria salad in his friend's face and change my mind. Oh wait, I will be a freshman again. Hum. And screw the look how much I've grown blah blah, the idea of throwing salad in someone's face is actually very appealing to me. Hum. Okay I will stop here. I wonder if I'd be disappointed to find salad throwers instead of studious college students. Since I know half the people going to Berkeley anyway, I'd go with the studious college students. Durr.

Anyway. I have to just indulge in this one last little thing.

SENIOR PROM IS IN A WEEK!!!!!!!! xD xD xD Ah, our boat will drown from my sheer excitment. Har har. See the thing is, even if we had no theme (instead of a dumb one), even if there was no boat, even if it was in the GYM, it will be the best because when you can have fun with people doing nothing, then being on a boat with those people well hell that'll just be freaking awesome.